The Benefits of For-give-ness
I vividly recall a recess in second grade when a kid named Jeremy sucker punched me right in my lip.
I was bleeding but I didn’t react. Instead, when the aid came over I told her it wasn’t his fault, I wasn’t hurt and we were just playing.
I chose to forgive him in that moment. I could have sought my revenge and plotted to jam a spork in his side, but I didn’t.
Most people go through life holding on to so many grudges and qualms that they can’t see the fact they are living in the past, not experiencing the present moment.
As always, I put my Mind Map lenses on every chance I get to examine human nature and how it is unfolding in my life.
The human brain doesn’t like open loops. I’ve discussed before about how the brain will hyper focus on open loops until they closed (this is how To Be Continued….works).
When we fail to forgive an event or person, we are shackling ourselves to the past. We are keeping an open loop so to speak. That loop is open because we’ve refused to allow it to die because of the very grudge we are holding in our heart.
So, you have this instance in which brings up bad memories, yet you, yourself perpetuates it. Once you forgive, you close the loop and your brain can focus in the here and now.
A Coach once told me that forgiveness is really about ‘thank you for giving me this opportunity to grow’. Wow! It still impacts me the same way every time I hear it.
Being upset and angry isn’t going to help you grow your world.
Forgiveness means ‘giving forward’. You can’t move forward if you are chained to a memory. And really, lets break that down a little further.
A memory is just a figment of your imagination, just like the future is a figment of your imagination. To our brains, time doesn’t exist, it’s just a theoretical concept.
Every minute that goes by that you don’t forgive is another minute that you are giving to the energy of recreating those lower energy levels of emotion that you experienced in very moment.
I personally take the time to do ‘the work’ every morning about one situation that needs my attention and forgiveness. This falls under my ‘Family’ category of the F-5 system since if I don’t’ clear my head of the lower energy fields of holding anger and hurt then it affects my family directly.
As I always say, do the opposite of what most people are doing and you’ll be on the right path most of the time (99%).
Struggle in life is going to happen, suffering is optional. Forgive those in your life that need to be forgiven and give yourself that gift.