𝙄𝙩’𝙨 𝙉𝙤𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝘽𝙪𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙒𝙝𝙮
While I was out at the river a half hour ago with the pups, I was reflecting.
I was reflecting because I was going over my visualization that I go through every morning.
And while I was visualizing the newsletter for Unlocking Your Inner Strength, I said to myself, ‘You are going to fail at first and it is not going to be perfect at first (it never will be). And you may not know what exactly it’s going to be about. You do not know where the subscribers will come from. And that’s ok.’
Why is it ok? Because I know the why. Yes, there are many what’s to be determined and worked out, but what’s are logistics. The why is your vision. And it’s your vision that will set your sails and keep you moving forward.
This applies to your life in many ways.
Let me use some non-business related stories from my past that might help you connect the dots.
Devon and I recently found our dream home. I had pretty much given up on the idea of finding our dream home in our town of Hillsborough. Yes, I was going to settle. Not like me, but I had resigned to that fact.
Let’s actually go back a half a year prior. This is not something that many people know, but Devon and I had planned our vacation to Wyoming and Idaho that summer because we were contemplating seriously moving out there.
We both love nature and we don’t like crowded areas. I was a bit burnt out from my role at Newell Strength and we were looking for something new. By the time the trip came around, we had backed off a bit on the idea since we were weighing the pros and cons of leaving our families and friends behind. We loved the trip but had decided to stick around a bit longer in the Hillsborough area.
A few months later, in October of 2016, we were driving to her parent’s house for brunch when we saw an open house sign. Devon looked it up and asked me if we could go look at it on our way back home. She was pregnant with number 2 at that point and we had decided we would be waiting to the spring time to look for a house (we were in a town house).
So, we go down the street that the house was on and the owner was out front working on the garden. I took one look and thought, ‘This doesn’t look like an open house’. I drove by slowly and then proceeded to take off.
We made it to the end of the street before Devon begged me to go back. I did and thank God I did.
We met the owners and took a look around. It was situated on a hill side, very quiet and serene and there was a large creek in the back! All the years I have lived in Hillsborough and I never even knew this street existed. Yet, it had all the qualities we were going to move out to Idaho for and it was right in our own back yard!
Devon was pumped but by mid-week she was getting cold feet. I knew our ‘why’ though. I asked her or more like told her, ‘It’s the property and the setting that we want. Are you willing to give that up? Because we will not find that again in Hillsborough.’
Bam! That hit her right between the eyes. She knew our why too. We didn’t know the what, being what the house would look like or where it would be. And if we hadn’t known our why and we were looking for a ‘what’, we would not have bought the house.
Our ‘why’ was a blissful, zen-like setting that we could live and raise a family in. It could have been a shack for all I cared (actually, we pretty much stayed in a shack out in Idaho, it was 800 square feet!).
A true ‘why’ will always guide you due north on your compass.
Still not convinced to the important of your ‘why’?
One more story from my past for ya then.
The year before I had met Devon, I was out in California for 5 weeks. I had originally planned the visit because I was going to be interning and helping out at UC-Irvine (with their strength and conditioning program). And as luck (good luck seems to find me, coincidence?) would have it, one of my first personal training clients had told me her aunt lived out there and was looking for a house sitter for about 5 weeks while she traveled for the summer.
I jumped at the chance.
But, at the time of my departure, I had been dating a girl that I was really into. On my first day out there, I got dumped, once again.
Why do I say once again?
Because it was this vicious pattern I was in. I would date these girls that had too much drama: broken homes, coming off a rebound and looking for the ‘bad-boy’. At the time, I knew what I was looking for.
I was looking for a girl that I could rescue. And of course, I knew what physically attracted me (dark hair, dark eyes).
I wasn’t looking for my ‘why’ when it came to a relationship. I was only trying to feel a void of loneliness. That’s when I took out my trusty notebook and proceeded to write down every quality I wanted in a partner. And all of those reasons were qualities I admired that would enhance me as a person, not just a one-way street like I had been seeking.
I no longer needed the ‘what’. I knew my ‘why’ when it came to a relationship would find me. My why was not to save someone but to enhance another person’s spirit, just as they would mine.
And a funny thing happened as soon as I began coming from a place of strength all because of my foundational ‘why’: I met Devon six months later.
Now, don’t mistake me, it wasn’t love at first sight (that doesn’t exist). She was not my default pattern so I had to consciously and actively go back to my list and my ‘why’ to stick with it until I over rode the patter of what.
A what is a thing. A why is a reason.
You can apply this lesson to any area of life. All parts of life are about habits, whether they are good or bad. The ingredient for habit is an acronym I like to use called A.I.R, which stands for attention, intention and repetition.
Emotion amplifies the intention and the amplifier in ALL cases is your reason WHY.
Hasta la vista for now.
P.S-If you would like a copy of our FREE mini-book, 33 Principles to Help you Win at Life, then you can go towww.newellstrength.com/33.